Friday, June 12, 2009

Five tips to keep his attention

So you don't think he pays you enough attention. Here are five tips to help keep or regain that attention.

Some of us are great at the chase, but not so good at the kill. In other words, we know how to get the guy, but when it comes to keeping him, it’s a different story. Once you’ve impressed your guy and wooed him, and you both finally come down from cloud nine, what’s next? How do you keep a man interested and show him that you’re worth keeping around, especially once he realizes that you’re not perfect like he thought (none of us are)? Being yourself is always a good place to start, but there are other things that you can do to keep a man by your side, help him to really appreciate you, and take that step to commit. Here are five ways to get on your guy’s good side.

1. Learn to speak his love language.
First and foremost, find out what his love language is. You can make him dinner every night, but if his love language is “words of affirmation,” you’ll be spinning your wheels. Once you’ve determined his love language, you can tailor your affections to his needs, and you’ll even reap the benefits. When your man feels loved, he’ll be more likely to shower you with the affection you deserve.

2. Give him space.
You can help to keep a man interested by simply giving him space. He needs alone time, or at least time to pursue hobbies and interests that you might not share. Pick a time each week when you each do something on your own or with your friends. It’s always important to maintain your own friendships even when you’re in a relationship. In the novelty of a new relationship, many people are tempted to spend all of their time with their new date, while letting other relationships slip. Remember, there may come a day when you need the support of your friends, so make sure you stay in their good graces! The next time he tells you he made plans with his friends, smile and tell him to have fun. Then, schedule a date at the spa with a few of your friends.

3. Don’t be his mother (but get along with her).
The last thing your guy needs is a second mother.
Now, we all know that the men in our life need some help and guidance at times (okay, all of the time), but there are ways to do this without taking him back to his high school days when his mom constantly nagged him. Try asking him to do something just once, and if that doesn’t work, ask him gently a second time, but give him the benefit of the doubt. Don’t show him that you are bothered, or he’ll resent being asked to do it. He’ll be much more likely to accommodate you if you stay positive and make him feel like he wants to do it to help you.

4. Learn to like (or at least tolerate) the things he likes.
People are different, and that’s what makes us so unique. It’s also what enables us to have meaningful and special relationships with others. It’s important to realize from the onset that your guy won’t be exactly like you, and believe me you wouldn’t want that! Can you imagine if he went to get a pedicure every two weeks or spent an hour styling his hair every morning? That being said, we’d all love it if they would just let us be when we do take longer to get ready or when we spend money to keep ourselves looking good for them. Just the same, we should be willing to let them watch football and baseball, or even spend the weekend hunting with family or friends. With time, you might even start to enjoy watching football!
Bottom line: if you want him to humor you when you go shopping or sun yourself by the pool, you need to be willing to spend a few hours doing what he loves to do. All good relationships involve give-and-take, so try giving more, and then you won’t feel bad taking a little, too!

5. Don’t push the “M” word.
We all know that the “M” word is enough to scare any guy away, especially if he’s not ready for it. If you’ve been dating for two years and the subject has never come up, then you might want to gently broach the subject. On the other hand, if you’ve only been dating for six months, you may need to be more patient. Forcing a serious issue like marriage may do more harm than good. Concentrate on making him happy and he’ll eventually come around. And if you do finally venture into the dark waters, be prepared to gently back out if you sense he feels overwhelmed. Give your relationship a chance to run its course naturally. At the same time, don’t keep a man around longer than you should. If you give him adequate time to commit and he still doesn’t seem interested, it may be time to give him the boot.The most important thing to remember in a relationship is that your work doesn’t stop once he’s yours. In fact, even the best marriages are based on hard work, and if you want to keep a man, there’s no better time to start than now. Put these five principles into practice and he’ll be yours for good! How Well Do You Understand Men?They say men and women are from different planets. You have probably had a relationship or two where it was more like different galaxies and are well aware that understanding men is a little more complicated than being able to guess what he wants for dinner. While you will probably never be able to totally read a man's mind, just how well do you understand men?


  1. I do concentrate on making him happy and feel I have given my relationship a chance to run its course naturally. I don't nag him.. I don't act like his mama... and I give him plenty of space and respect for his individuality. My question to you is how long is too long? I don’t want to keep him around longer than you should.

  2. to answer: think about in case all dissapear tomorrow, how long will you feel you stayed too long. i just broke up after 3.5 years because of this, actually he just left me. so if you see him not commiting when this is important to you, just tell him you want this relationship to another level, see how he reacts. dont give him a target date, but give yourself and DO IT. let him or else you are likely to loose more time and loose other opportunities.

  3. Ok now say you have made it to the married part and your spouse still don't pay that much attention to you. You give him space but due to children you don't get the same time. You do everything for him and feel like a failure because you would like some help but are too afraid to ask.

    1. You can't be afraid to communicate with your spouse. This is someone you want to send the rest of your life with. If you don't let your feelings be know then nothing will change. I know there is more to it when just saying communicate.You have to find the best way for him to receive what you have to say, and you BOTH have to be willing to make changes to improve your situation,even if you think you're doing all that you can.

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