Thursday, October 29, 2009
When was the last time you and your mate, spend time together exploring each other’s interests? Not just being in the same space because you have to… but spending time to learn something your partner is interest in? I challenge you to spend a weekend, taking part in at least one thing your mate likes to do. It doesn’t have to be something big, or expensive. It could be playing games, your partner like playing. Watching movies together. Listen to music you partner likes, or even working out together. The important thing is you're sharing in each other’s interest and learning more about each other. Don’t choose something that you know you would rather do along, and if you can’t find anything that you would like to share…. you aren’t ready to be in a relationship… seriously. It’s always a good thing to be somewhat open minded in a relationship. You will be surprise at the things you'll learn to like(or tolerate) and even discover new things together, you both can enjoy.
There is no room for selfishness in a relationship. The name alone speaks for itself. To be in a relationship, means to relate. What is the point of "being" with someone, if you don't like "being" together. The more you relate to your partner, the more you will want to be around each other and spend time together. To be frank, this is somthing you should have already had down pack, from the beginning of your relationship. You should already know how to share time with each other. But if by chance you guys deside to put the horse before the carrage, it's not too late. If you're in a relationship, then you have aready desided there are things about this person you do like/ love. If so, doing things that will help pull you closer together, should be a no brainer.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Comic from thecoupleconnection.net
We often get so caught up in the day to day rat race... we sometimes forget to show the ones we love appreciation. If you're guilt... now is the time to start showing some appreciation. It's important in building confidence in your relationship and is one of the ways to show love. It's reinforcement that they aren't in the relationship alone and when someone feels appreciated, they'll have no problem going the extra mile... . Even if they seem not to care, trust me. Everyone wants to be appreciated. It doesn't have to take much. It's as simple as saying thank you, and I don't mean a dry thank you... I mean really making the effort to look at the person and even throwing in a touch or a kiss, and saying... thank you, I really appreciate you....
Below are few tips from http://www.improvingyourworld.com/
The following are reasons you should show appreciation and how to do so:
Show you appreciation by verbally expressing it. When your partner, friend, or whomever does something kind, nice, or thoughtful, be sure to express appreciation. Say, "Thanks so much." Or, "That sure meant a lot to me." Or, "Thank you." Or, "I really appreciated that." Verbal expression is one of the best forms of appreciation because it does not have to be discovered, or figured out, it is straight forward, and it is clear. You are telling someone you appreciate them, and in doing so you are showing them that you actually do value them and that they make a difference in your life. This makes your relationship grow stronger.
Show you appreciation. Things like a smile after a gift, or a dinner, savoring a spoonful of delicious food someone prepared for you, etc. makes that person feel good. You can show your appreciation without words, and it is important to do so. Because these little expressions of appreciation show that you do appreciate their efforts, that you do not just expect them or assume they will do it, but that you know they are going out of their way for you and doing something because they love you.
A great way to show your appreciation is to do something kind in return. If someone brings you a plate of food, return the plate with cookies on it. You do not even have to say thanks, you can just return the plate and the gratitude will be known. This shows your gratitude for what they did for you along with a kind gesture back. This is a great way to not just strengthen but build good relationship.
Relationships with appreciation shown regularly last longer, are stronger, and more enjoyable to be apart of then ones where appreciation is assumed, or where it is neglected to be expressed. When appreciation is neglected to be expressed, people start to assume that deeds are expected and the joy of serving others is lost. So, show your appreciation and ask that your partner, friend, etc. show appreciation in return.
If you learn to show and accept appreciation appropriately you will find an improvement in your relationship and a natural tendency to love each other more, be more intimate, and have a better relationship all together.
Friday, October 9, 2009
I faintly hear the alarm… it buzzed almost angrily. I came to... and realized, it was morning and time to start a new day. I could barely make out the entrance, as I stumble into the bathroom. At the entrance of the door, the mirror confronts me, as it have every morning for the last two or so years. Again...I greeted it with the hope of seeing some improvement, more so in the past four months than before. An improvement I needed to feel better, to feel… “Normal”. I've had this need... so many times in my short life. I needed it...so I don't have to explain my moodiness. Maybe...just maybe, there will be no more relapse. Today though, it was different. The person I saw in the mirror...was different. I saw the flaws… they were there...the dark spots, the chubby face, and...., but they weren’t there, they weren’t…important. I was some what stunned, because the person I saw, looking me straight in the eyes, almost looking beyond me and into my soul… was beautiful.
If you have ups and downs in your personal life, so will your relationship. The more you can keep your personal battles in check... the less you will have on your mind and the more prepared you will be, to handle the issues in your relationship .
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Like I’ve said before, I’m no relationship expert. However, I do know what works for not only mine, but countless other successful relationship. I wish I could tell you that my suggestions are 100% fail proof, but that would be a lie. The reality is nothing is fail proof. Except for conception (I think) and that's in the hands of the creator, not ours. So it’s important to have the right formula, to achieve the right results. First, make sure you are really ready for this. Make sure (but not egocentric) that you are the best catch that you can be. Next, you AND your partner needs to be on the same page. By that I mean, both of you wants this to work and you are both will and able to make the necessary changes. It is also important to stick to these AGREED changes. No one is perfect, so there has to be some room for relapse. If it can be accomplished without relapse, the better. The next step is to communicate, communicate and communicate. And final, just do it. Forget about the past (do not focus on it) and just do it. Nothing is going to change, if you’ve done nothing to change it.