Thursday, August 6, 2009

How to Build Trust in you Relationship

Have you heard the old saying? "Without trust, there is no love."

So you have come to the realization that the real reason your relationship is failing, is trust. You can trust him as far as you can throw him. You’ve BOTH talk about it and you’re BOTH ready to take the next step. So what do you do? You wonder, how exactly are we going to build trust, when that was the problem in the first place. I think the very first step should be ACCEPTANCE. I’ve never heard of a couple that is identical. Yes, you can have alot in common, but not identical. Accept you partner's short comings and help them work on what they can change. Being different is vital to the successful of a relationship (Creates balance.) These differences when combined, makes a couple stronger than they would be as individuals.

Here are some more tips by Darlene Zagata.

Be honest. If you're ever going to build trust in a relationship you need to be honest. Not only do you need to be honest with your partner, but you also need to be honest with yourself as well. People often pretend to be happy on the surface when in their heart they know they're not. There may be problems in a relationship that one or both partner refuses to acknowledge. They spend their days in denial without confronting the real issues. Being honest with each other and acknowledging issues that need to be addressed can help healing take place and build a stronger relationship.

Keep your word.If you say you're going to do something then do it otherwise don't make promises you can't keep. This applies to all relationship not just those of a romantic nature. If you repeatedly make promises and then break them people, including your significant other may begin to perceive you as not being trustworthy. Try to keep your word in all things and don't make promises if you don't think you can keep them. Yes, there are times when we all have to break an occasional promise but when this happens consistently it gives others the impression that your word is not worth much. Keeping your word and following through will help others to build trust in you.

Respect others.Respect the wishes of others including your romantic partner. Where trust often needs to be earned respect should come naturally. But if you can't give respect you're unlikely to get it and even less likely to be trusted. Even in the best relationship people need privacy or just some time alone. Respect your partner's needs and don't assume that just because he/she needs some time alone that he/she is doing something wrong. Sometimes people just need a little bit of space and there's nothing wrong with that. Don't make assumptions and don't jump to conclusions. Be understanding and your partner as well as others will respect you for it.

Face your fears.People often react the way they do due to inner fears. Fear is usually the motive behind jealousy in romantic relationships. A person fears losing the one he/she loves and so reacts with jealousy. But trust can overcome jealousy. Face your fears. Talk about them with your partner. Once you've faced your fears it becomes easier to release feelings of anxiety and allow trust to build and grow naturally.

Have confidence in yourself.People who have trust issues often have low self-esteem. Learning to be confident and trust in yourself can be the first step to building trust in your relationship.

Know yourself and your needs.Know what it is that you are looking for in a relationship. People often try to fill gaps in their own lives through a relationship when in truth what they feel is missing can only be found in themselves. Knowing what is most important to you in a relationship before you commit to one can provide you with a strong sense of self-reliance which in turn can help prevent trust issues due to insecurity from developing in the first place.

Give yourself and your relationship time.Trust doesn't always come easily. It often needs to be earned. Give yourself and your relationship time to grow and develop and trust will build and grow stronger as well. Trust doesn't happen overnight but it will happen. Give it time.

Forgive and let go. People often carry baggage from past relationship into the present. If they've been hurt or betrayed in the past they may fear the same thing will happen again. He/she may find it difficult to trust the new partner even though that person has given no reason for him/her not to be trusted. In instances such as this the individual who has been hurt must try to move past the hurt and get on with his/her life. You can't judge everyone by the actions of one person. Forgive, let go and move forward with your life. This is the best way to learn to trust again.

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